Tuesday, May 20, 2008

[My] Parental Advisory

Thanks for the reminder, Digisistuh -

I started this post late at night on Saturday up in my room with the lights off...kinda like a kid up past bedtime reading a book with a flashlight (which kid would have been me about 30 years ago!), but got distracted by a sickly 10 year old and never finished. The spring plague has hit us all, so 4 of the 5 of us are home sick today.

But I digress - here's the update:

1. Mom visit: went as well as it could, they drove in from Chicago late Friday, and left early Monday. We had no substantive discussions of any kind, just about kids, the impending yard sale, and my recent dental work. Although she did ask about a letter she found laying about offering me a general counsel job to an overseas American contracting company.* (My fault for leaving it by the phone, no snooping involved). She mentioned that she is going to Egypt on an "all girl" trip with my sister (something the three of us had planned a few years ago...until I finally got and remained pregnant), and waited to see if I'd respond. I didn't. Just kept watching the Teddy Kennedy coverage. After a few minutes, I headed for the kitchen to start dinner. "Well, you wouldn't want to go anywhere now anyway, what with the baby..." trailed after me. I ignored it. I stayed in the kitchen baking and cooking so she could visit with the kids, then got so desperate that I painted the ceiling in the baby's room. :) Got raves about my Pane Toscana - check Brookside Bistro out for the easiest bread ever [home]made.

I am still ruminating on whether this is the way things will be between us from now on. Very superficial, save the occasional barb and bait, to which I will very steadfastly not respond. I will need treatment for TMJ, perhaps, but it'll drive her friggin' nuts! (I shouldn't be smirking, but I am...). So that was Round One.

2. Dad: Nothing.

No response, no new updates other than that his overall health is very poor and he's not medicating for anything, so I can't help but think that he's given up. His birthday is next week, and I will send a nice yet neutral card, but after that, I think I'll have to wait for him. Or for more news, I guess. I'm giving that one over to God in prayer, and I know I can count on many of you to do the same - and so I'll thank you now before the verklemptness overtakes me.

But wait - almost forgot - there is a slight tidbit on the Southwestern front: my mercifully former stepmother sent a big box of wedding and baby pictures (all of which I'd sent to them over the years before the divorce) to me via my mother, as she "has no need of them anymore." You see, she's moving into a nice, brand new $500K condo in Scottsdale, as she made quite a nice profit on the house my dad signed over to her in the divorce (along with all the cash). Nice, eh?

So the post-nuclear family winter continues...

As soon as I stop coughing and snorting, I am intent on enjoying a lovely Southern-Central NY happy-family spring!

*Great great money, btw, but I'm not doing it, not bringing the pasty-faced American offspring to a Muslim country. Sadly, they got none of my melanin and all of their Daddy's propensity for melanoma...me, gimme a do-rag and a caftan and I'd blend right in, 'cept maybe for the docile obedient acquiescence-to-misogyny bit....oh yeah, and then there's that pesky no-alcohol thing. Me go a year without my martinis and red wine? Fuggheddaboudit!)


a thorn in the pew said...

That all stinks. Mother/daughter relationships don't even work well after working on them. So in some respect, saving the effort might be in order. Sorry about your snot. Hope you are on the mend.

DigiHairshirt said...


Good for you! It is always better to take the higher ground, especially with one's parent. Alhtouhg, a good response to the mention of the Egypt trip is, "Really? Well, have a good time . . ." and just go about with what you were doing.

As for your Dad - just pray. You cannot do anything more. It is his life and his decisions. The birthday card is a lovely gesture. With any luck, your ex-stepmother's new house will have a cracked slab. Or peeling stucco. You actually score bigger getting those pictures!