Big Daddy B: A Bad Dream

Ever notice how dreams you have in the morning are more vivid and bizarre that the middle of the night kind?

This morning, I had to get up and do 6 am doggie relief, as the Beloved is still hobbled by his gout. So I got 'em outside, gave 'em kibble, started the coffee, but then came back up and crawled back into bed because it was a bit chilly and my feet were cold. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep again.

Suddenly, it was January 21, 2009, and BO was our new president. (A dream, remember?!?) I was sitting in bed watching the news, which had a new feature, the "Prez-cam," which was embedded in the White House. But BO was not aware of it. So he's in some sort of posh office (not the Oval Office) with Oprah, Michelle, Howard Dean, Dennis Kucinich, Ron Paul (?!?), Jesse Jackson, JFK (who was still alive, but in hiding, and had not aged since 1963) and a bunch of Hollywood celebrities. He was holding some sort of strategy meeting about what to do for his first 100 days in office. Someone in the back of the crowd asked him how soon he would be implementing a bunch of his social policies, and he just laughed and laughed.

"I didn't mean any of that sh*t! You all better just get yourselves out of my office, because Big Daddy B is in the hiz-zouse now, and all we're gonna do is party!"

And then all of a sudden the room - and the White House lawn - was full of his young college supporters, scantily clad, having some sort of MTV Spring Break bump and grind dance beach party. They started flinging paint all over the White House, which Big Daddy B declared could no longer be white, because that was a symbol of racism. The camera then showed an exterior shot of the White House, which was painted (perfectly) in the colors of the rainbow. Big Daddy B came out onto a balcony in some sort of rapper/emperor outfit - think Huggy Bear meets Naploeon Bonaparte - and George Bush handed him a crown and sceptre, which he snatched and put on himself. Then, rather than your typical inaugural speech, he instead announced that he was divorcing his wife, firing everyone from their jobs, and disbanding the military. Someone told him about the Prez-cam, and again he laughed, because he'd abolished term limits and planned to be there for life. Dream me was horrified, and made sleeping me wake up.

This dream disturbs me on so many levels - not only did it contain every negative racial stereotype imaginable (something I abhor in real life), but the country was thrown into chaos, the traditional family chucked aside, the economy destroyed, and there was no hope of recovery.

Where the hell did this come from?!? I mean, it sounds like an allegory, but it was just a dream. And being a morning dream, it was very "real" and vivid - it's midnight now and I remember so much detail from this morning.

I think this might warrant therapy.