Thursday, December 4, 2008

Helo Mom Dispatch #7 - Breaking the Code

UPDATE: 48 hours post-gym-spat, and all is going swimmingly. The Athlete called again last night...

Athlete: Hi Mrs. [Kit], it's me, Athlete.

Me: Hello m'dear. Let me get your little friend.

Athlete: Thanks. Oh, can I tell you one thing first, though?

Me: Sure...

Athlete: Thanks so much for your help the other night. Not just for me, but for whatever you said to make her see the other side of things. You have no idea how much it means to me. Most parents wouldn't care, especially in this case, because I know you and Mr. [Beloved] aren't real happy with the age thing. But I just wanted you to know I really appreciate it, and I hope you and your husband know I will always protect your daughter at school or anywhere else, no matter what happens between us. If there were a coolest mom of the year award, I'd totally make sure you got it.

Me: [a little verklempt and red-faced] Awww....thanks kiddo. Now...make sure you don't blow it. [Laughing] I'll go get her.

I'm with you, Kasia - whoever ends up with this kid is gonna be a lucky girl!

Oh, one more tidbit - I sat with another cheer-mom at the basketball game last night (she has senior and sophomore cheerleader daughters), and she extolled the Athlete's virtues at length, having known him and his family for quite some time. Good to know.

***
[R-r-r-r-r-ing]

Me: Hello?

Athlete: Hi Mrs. [Kit]. It's me, Athlete.

Me: Hello, Athlete...what have you done?

Athlete: I. Don't. Know. I was hoping you might be able to enlighten me.

Me: I only know part of it. She told the rest in a pitch only the dogs could understand. And they looked really scared. So you'd better tell me your side so I can piece it together.

[Their stories matched perfectly]

Athlete: She thinks I didn't stick up for her, but I really couldn't do what she wanted me to without looking biased. But if it's any consolation, those two [unkind word] girls got in huge trouble, and they were made to apologize to me today for interfering with my class project.

Me: Excellent. Explain it to her just as you did to me. Stand your ground and only apologize if you mean it, or she'll see right through it. If she's mean, kick her to the curb.

Athlete: WHAT?!? Oh, you're kidding. Okay. I'm really nervous now. She's gonna yell at me, isn't she?

Me: Remain calm. She'll listen.

(She did.)

During the 90 minute conversation, I get the following text:

U R DEAD!!! HOW LONG DID U TALK 2 HIM?

Yes, I broke the code and gave him words of encouragement. But all is forgiven, she did not kill me, and they are back to normal.

Whatever that means.

One more thing. She just told me she wants to hit the after-holiday formal dress sales when we go to Chicago. Seems the "Snow Ball" is sometime at the end of January.

Gulp.

Hmmmm.....perhaps some vino before bed for the Helo Mom.

3 comments:

Kasia said...

Make sure she finds out from reliable females what the formality level is of the "Snow Ball" - it sounds formal, yes, but I showed up overdressed to WinterFest the one year I went. MORTIFYING...

I'm glad they patched things up. I have to admit, the romantic in me is holding out hope for a wedding right after she finishes college... ;-)

mum6kids said...

LOL Kit. I have a friend who seems to think that once your kids hit those teen years that somehow the parenting is over and you can relax and let them make you cups of tea. WooHOOO is SHE in for a shock!
Give me toddlers and tantums ANY day over the scary business of having a child older enough to be let out of the hosue without reins!

dellbabe68 said...

You are very funny. Pitch only the dogs could hear!