Biden's Disconnection

That's what the Bishop of Pensacola-Tallahassee calls Biden's unwillingness to protect the unborn in his recent letter to the VP-to-be.

C'mon Bishops - man up and keep at it!

Happy Blog-Day to me...

Today is my one-year anniversary in blogdom! Kinda took me by surprise, actually. It's also the opening day of deer season here in NY - which triggered my memory, as deer season was the subject of one of my first posts. As I am off to the soggy wilds of Syracuse, here's a link to my thoughts then, which remain the same now.

Thanks to all of you for stopping by over the past year - it's been equal parts of fun, thought-provoking, edifying, and a downright honor to meet so many good, like minded people from all over the country and around the world. Thanks for your many kindnesses, your advice, your opinions, and most of all, your prayers. You are all in mine.

You've made my little corner of nowhere a better place.

:)

300

UPDATE: WOO HOO!!! THEY WON AN AMAZING GAME!!!

"[NEXT WEEK], THEY DINE IN HELL!"

[A.K.A., ROCHESTER]

In honor of my 300th post:

Good luck to the Cheerleader's football team in their tiny school division State quarterfinals tomorrow. Sadly, I fear they may go the way of King Leonidas and his companions...

"Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time!"

I must say, the movie was a bit gory, but well worth watching just to see that handsome Gerard Butler running around, being brave, saying cool stuff, bleeding....mostly shirtless....

For the record, being quite content with my Beloved, I do not lust after Mr. Butler in my heart...but I wouldn't mind having him, say, come over and do some yardwork at my house on a warm summer day while I supervised from the patio...he could take breaks and chat with me in that cute Scots brogue and stuff. Yep, that would be fine. If he wanted to drop by to practice and maybe improve his shotput skills while wearing a kilt and undershirt, that would be lovely as well...I'd make him some oatmeal:

Hee hee hee!

I will make the last of my Scott's tomorrow at dawn before trekking off to somewhere outside of Syracuse to get the girl to the game. And her Football Player, who persists in his attentions despite her gentle rebuffs. I feel a little sorry for him.

No communion for BO supporters

Score one for this priest - article here.

(Psssssst! Father! The DOR needs you!)

San Diego de Alcala

Otherwise known as St. Didacus, celebrates his feast day today, and is the namesake of my former hometown. San Diego was a Franciscan friar and recluse, who eventually came to care for and effect seemingly miraculous cures for his patients (convent and monastery fellow religious.)

The Mission San Diego de Alcala is the oldest in California, founded by Bl. Junipero Serra in 1769. The site of the mission changed due to earthquakes and fire over the years, and it fell into disuse and ruin from shortly after the Civil War until the early 20th century.



After its restoration and renovation, the Sisters of Nazareth (from Ireland) began an orphanage and boarding school attached to the Mission. It is a beautiful site and a great school - my girls attended before the Beloved's retirement and our move to NY. Two years ago, the Sisters' decades-long tenure ended and Nazareth School was taken over by the Diocese.

If you're in the area and have an hour or two to tour gardens, check out the museum and attend Mass, it's a lovely place to spend a Sunday afternoon.

A Break from Bitter

Courtesy of our dear Clam

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!" You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up. If only your routine didn't always bomb! You may find more groans than laughs, but you always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

And once again

Bishop Clark has just been sued for having actual/constructive knowledge of sexual abuse and failing to act - article here.

Lord, have mercy.

The Jackals Are Out

Not surprisingly, scammers are already out there selling "tickets" to The One's inauguration on January 20th, thereby demonstrating that the spirit of capitalism may well survive the next four years.

Me, well, you won't find me within short-range missile distance of Obamagrad* on January 20th. I will be in NYC spending my money on other forms of theatre.

* All it takes is an Executive Order, friends....lol!

Earplugs

I need them. Every time I hear the words "President-Elect Obama" I have this immediate urge to either throw things at the tv, rip out the car radio, or engage in an impromptu primal scream therapy session. (<--This would scare the baby.) So I think I need to find some earplugs. .

After yesterday's leaks to the press regarding The One's meeting with Bush, the stats saying that 72% of us believe The One can fix the economy, the re-emergence of Farrakhan and Wright to discuss The One, and the overall cockiness of The One and his entourage.....

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Excuse the interruption, primal scream event in progress]

I may have to give up all external media until America sees the light.

Thank you

To all of our service members...for your service, for your sacrifice, for the scars we can see and those we can't.

God bless you all.

It occurs to me that Veterans Day is enjoyed as a "day off" for more non-vets than for vets - think of our active, former, and retired service members, who now continue their service in civilian law enforcement, firefighting, and other jobs that keep us safe. Be sure to thank those you know, and maybe even those you don't, when you're enjoying a stroll at a park or hitting the sales at the mall.

HAPPY VETERANS DAY!

Happy 233rd Birthday, Marines!

To all our beloved Marines out there, present and future....

...there is no such thing as a "past" Marine - once a Marine, always a Marine!

It all began at Tun Tavern:

The Establishment of the United States Marine Corps.

10 November 1775

Resolved, That two Battalions of marines be raised, consisting of one Colonel, two Lieutenant Colonels, two Majors, and other officers as usual in other regiments; and that they consist of an equal number of privates with other battalions; that particular care be taken, that no persons be appointed to office, or inlisted into said Battalions, but such as are good seamen, or so acquainted with maritime affairs as to be able to serve to advantage by sea when required: that they be inlisted and commissioned to serve for and during the present war between Great Britain and the colonies, unless dismissed by order of Congress: that they be distinguished by the names of the first and second battalions of American Marines, and that they be considered part of the number which the continental Army before Boston is ordered to consist of.

Source: Journal of the Continental Congress, 10 November 1775, in William Bell Clark, editor

Celebrating the Marine Corps Birthday is a time-honored tradition. No matter where they are - in the field, on base, at a swanky hotel, in a VFW Lodge in rural America with no one in the room under the age of 60 - there are Marines of all ages celebrating at a Marine Corps Ball. There's a message from the Commandant, speeches from the local commanding officer, veteran or current Marines, ceremonies depicting the history of the Corps and my favorite:

...honoring the oldest and youngest Marines present with a slice of USMC birthday cake.

(If the Marine can't get to the party, the party is brought to the Marine! I love this picture - it's hard to see, but there are two slices of cake on the table, one for the oldest and youngest Marines in the photo!)

.

The wives and sweethearts are dressed to the nines in formal ballgowns, the Marines are in their dress blues - some even have the formal "evening wear" version!

Standard dress - but trust me, there's nothing "standard" about a handsome Marine in dress blues!

Evening dress (cool enough on your screen, but it transports you to a beautiful, bygone era to see these gorgeous uniforms on our proud, brave men and women in person!)

The Dress Whites are for special duty - depending on where you are, you may catch a special performance by the USMC Silent Drill Team or Drum & Bugle Corps on Birthday weekend! (I can guarantee you that dog has one of two names: Chesty or Gunny!)

And at the bigger, on-base USMC Balls, the Band will play on!

The Marine Corps hymn - here

No matter how you dress 'em up, the indomitable spirit of our brave Marines never changes:“We're surrounded...that simplifies our problem!"

"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time!"

-Chesty Puller, USMC

Have a very Happy Birthday, Marines, wherever you may find yourselves today. Prayers for your health and safety, and heartfelt thanks to Marines of all ages for your service and dedication to preserving our freedom and security against all enemies foreign and domestic.

Special Happy Birthday shout-out to our dear Cavey, his fellow Leatherneck Bloglodytes, and his House Sergeant Major, too!

Prop 8 Protests

Imagine this, only exponentially worse, had Obama lost. Apparently democracy is only fair and honorable if your agenda wins.

(Annoying self-starting video removed - link to KTLA here)

Courting vs. Dating, Part 1

The events of this past week have set my motherly mind to work, perhaps a little late, but not TOO late, on the best way to approach the impending dating career of my eldest child.

As many of you already know, the Beloved's got a neo-rad-trad contingent in his family that goes the "Cath-mish" route on everything from cloistering to clothing to courting. No unsupervised co-ed visitation, no touching, no impure thoughts allowed. (1)

That's a bit extreme and unwieldy for us. So is the common practice of my daughter's 14 year old peers being allowed to go out with any boy who asks, and/or to grab a sleeping bag and hop into cars full of slightly older kids whose driver's licenses are still warm from the laminator to head out to the post-football game bonfires....with beer and pot provided by the "cool" parents....to "hang out" with an older boy who invited them. No thanks. (2)

So the questions arise: how do you find a happy medium? And what's the difference between "courting" and "dating" anyway?

Here's my take:

Dating is what most of us did in high school - being asked out by/asking out your latest "crush" and heading out to movies, malls, school dances, parties, undisclosed parking areas (....!) without adult supervision, and peer attendance/participation becoming more and more optional as the dating couple progresses to full-on "going out" or exclusivity with one person. Not much has changed, except maybe that our kids are better versed in the various forms of VD (and institutionalized hands-on instruction in the importance of condom use to prevent it) than we were. (Ack!)

Courting is the "old fashioned" concept of a young man coming over in his best clothes, flowers in hand, to stay for dinner so he can see and spend time with the girl he's interested in, but just as importantly, the purpose is to meet the parents and extended family, befriend them, and to be considered as a potential future son in law. The couple is never unchaperoned or alone, and chastity of dress and behavior is expected at all times. No physical contact is considered - the point is to get to know the person, not to rate their comparative cup size or kissing prowess. The ultimate goal is selecting a future spouse. Courting, not surprisingly, is the preferred ritual among the very traditional, orthodox and/or the homeschooling set, for reasons that are self-evident.

From all that I've seen in person and from the reading I've done online and at home, I've extrapolated and would submit the following summary:

1. Dating celebrates the cultus of the body, while courting promotes the vocation, sacrament, and sanctity of marriage;

2. Dating emphasizes variety and quantity in discerning who the "ideal" mate is, while courting focuses on quality - the discernment of character before exploring physicality in a relationship; and

3. Dating puts control largely in the hands of the child, while courting emphasizes parental/family involvement.

There are good and bad points to both concepts, of course. On one side, yes, I want my daughters to meet and get to know any number of young men so they can develop their instincts about "good boys" and "bad boys" - who to avoid, and what qualities to look for in a young man who might one day be worthy of their time and attention. On the other, I'm not about to let them say yes to anyone who asks, or otherwise to engage in any activity that calls their good reputations into question.

As far as physicality goes, I think going to school dances, holding hands, and [low-impact] kissing are rites of passage in high school. Becoming a mother next summer after having too much fun at a football bonfire last fall, or being required to get Gardasil injections as a preemptive strike in your premarital sex life...not so much.

Unsupervised opportunities for physical contact and sexual activity in the dating context invites disaster. Period. But at the same time, completely excising the physicality from a budding relationship creates an artifice - not to mention encouraging your Juliet to sneak off with her Romeo - because physical attraction is an essential ingredient to a happy, healthy spiritual relationship with your marriage partner. Keeping that physicality in check, but not forbidding it outright...well there's the conundrum. (I was going to say "rub" but, well, let's not go there.) If someone can come up with a way to get those raging teen hormones under control, let me know - I'll help you get the patent if you can bottle it. I'm a mom looking for a miracle.

This brings up the next question: what is the parent's role in all of this?

As for that third prong of my summary, well, let's face it - my own experience has made me into the world's biggest hypocrite when it comes to the prospect of encouraging any child to live chastely and to imitate Christ - much less to follow my parental example. I have no grounds to lecture anyone. If I were my kid, I'd kill me! (3)

So I am not one to be doling out advice to my child on how to be modest and chaste in dating relationships - I never was, certainly - but I find the micromanagement of courting to be a bit oppressive, and its purpose premature at this stage of the game. At the same time, BECAUSE of the tender age involved in my case, I think supervision is absolutely necessary.

I want to know exactly who the boy is, what his interests are, who his family and friends are, because if there's anything or anyone questionable, as a parent it is my OBLIGATION to protect and educate my child about the occasion of sin and how to avoid it. And while I have absolutely no problem doing so, I don't want to do it in such a Draconian manner that my children cannot feel comfortable discussing things with me, try to hide information...or sneak off like I did!

CCC Section 1632 states:

"It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people, above all in the heart of their own families, about the dignity of married love, its role and its exercise, so that, having learned the value of chastity, they will be able at a suitable age to engage in honorable courtship and enter upon a marriage of their own."
[Emphasis mine]

So back to the main issue. The problem is walking the fine line between the two - dating vs courting - and that's what I'm dealing with when it comes to this senior boy and his crush on my freshman daughter. He seems to be instinctively following the courting route, changing his tactics once he realized that dating this younger girl was not an option. (See (2) below). He gets high marks for figuring this out on his own and for offering to forego the end-of-season blowout bonfire bash with his friends to come over and talk with a younger girl and her parents.

I just have to spend some time with him trying to discern whether his intentions are truly good, or if it's all for show. I also want to be there to promote the possibility of having fun and innocence within the relationship to try and avoid the inevitable drama and hurt feelings on either side. Wish me luck. I'll continue to post on this topic as I'm in the process of forming my own, better understanding along the way. Maybe I'll write a book and call it "How to Date in a Courtly Manner" (Hmmm...you read it here first, so let's call it a copyright) ;-)

Here are a few articles by Catholics and non-Catholics that I found to be interesting and helpful:

Family Life Center resource page here

A Catholic Critique of a Current Notion of Courtship (by an FUS alumna, Shell!)

Catholic Online - article from the Arlington Catholic Herald

A non-Catholic Christian perspective here

I've got some book recommendations, and will share them once I've actually done the work myself.

End Notes:

(1) We are not like that, thus we are unworthy of full communion with them, lest we or our school-going children foul the waters. But that's for another time and another post.

(2) To give credit where it is due, without even asking me first, she has refused her older Cheerleader friends' invitations to these gatherings. The Football Player asked her to the movies in lieu of attending this weekend's post-playoff-game bonfire bash - the last one of his HS football career at that. Good kid. But she's not going out anywhere with him, and she's told him so. He has now asked me if he might come over to meet us instead. I want to adopt him like a little puppy, he's so darn cute. But all puppies eventually pee on your carpet, so I'm keeping a close eye on him.

(3) Major CINO, no catechism growing up, parents who divorced and explored their - ahem - SELVES in the mid '70's and were so wrapped up in the "ME generation"/disco decadence culture that my siblings and I had ZERO supervision, were asked little and told even less about what we were up to. Me, well, I was an honor student and never got in trouble, mainly because I was too smart to get caught. Adult me grieves for teen-aged me, because even then I knew something was missing - I craved my mother's notice, but got little (beyond derision) when I screwed up, and even less when I did well. And that was just high school. Then I was a Big 10 school-going sorority queen in the late '80's, had a blast, had no rules and even less inhibitions - as long as I paid my own way, I could go off on whatever Spring-break bacchanalia I wanted. I'm striving to do the opposite as a mother. So far, so good...but we're just starting to hit the big stuff. I pray to St. Anne, but then I've got St. Monica for backup.

Lamb of God

You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Forgive our nation, Father. We know not what we've done.

Helo Mom 102

11-5-08 Helo Mom Update:

On November 4, 2008, America elected its first black president, and my daughter got asked out on her first date.

She said no based on parental advice and age concerns, but has not excluded the possibility of having him come over to meet the parents and be interrogated accordingly. He asked what sports teams the Beloved likes, whether he hunts and fishes....smart kid.

Lovestory

Click on the link above to watch the Cheerleader's new favorite song/video. This absolutely nails it. It is exactly how I picture her romantic little 14-year-old, Jane-Austen-loving mind at work...

I can't tell you what the 18 year old Football Player's mind is thinking. Pretty sure this isn't it, however.

Is it any wonder that her parents are a pair of trainwrecks?

Oh yeah - today's revelation: his after school job? Lifeguard. Problem? My daughter has had a starry-eyed lifeguard crush thing going on since she was 2. Every single session of swimming lessons back in CA, there was some 18 year old Adonis lugging her around, and they loved her as much as she loved them. A favorite quote from the tall blonde reincarnated Viking surfer god from the summer of 2000: "Your little heartbreaker is an excellent swimmer - I will miss having her in my class, but she's ready to move up to [whatever the next level was] with Jen."

I am torn between running to the kitchen to gulp down a large glass of wine or perhaps agonizing over tea and chocolates. Update: I resorted to all 3

Courage, my friends

Pray for the safety and survival of our country.

.

Then go vote your Catholic conscience.

Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it.

St. Martin de Porres

Today we celebrate the feast day of this holy son of Peru, friend of St. Rose of Lima. St. Martin was the son of a Spanish officer and a free black woman, and was intended for the Church from an early age. He practiced great humility, self-sacrifice, and severe penance and received many spiritual gifts in return, such as flight and bilocation.
As many of you have seen and pointed out in recent weeks, his image is being misappropriated by the "'Catholics' for Obama" contingent, which is so deeply offensive to me - just imagine the great joy and "prophetic" symbolism they are attaching to this day? I can't help but wonder what St. Martin would say, knowing that his image and likeness is being linked to Barack enemy of the unborn Obama.

St. Martin, pray for us!

McCain on SNL

Funny stuff!



Fine. Gold. Hee hee hee!!!

Helo Mom 101

11-4-08 Helo Mom Update:

He walked her to her last class, thereby making himself tardy for his own. They talked for 2 hours on the phone last night. Other senior football player boys, who have never taken note of her existence, are suddenly greeting her and being nice to her at school.

Good grief.

The Beloved (who, thankfully, was at work chasing wildlife and tackling an elderly woman who tried to take an unloaded .357 in her luggage last night) has a bulge-y looking vein at one temple, and has refused to allow the poor boy to come over to our house. Ever. Or at least until after they're both out of college.

He has, however, offered to take him hunting. Or fishing. Without witnesses. Very soon.

11-3-08 Helicopter Mom Update:

I am truly not ready for this. I have just discovered and am willing to admit that I lack the requisite maturity and self control to deal with boys courting my daughters. The Football Player promised to call the Cheerleader yesterday, but did not do so until the late evening. She was on pins and needles all day, checking the phone lines, cell phone ring volume, wondering if she'd said something wrong the night before, etc., so we all had to be on pins and needles too, and NO ONE was allowed to say anything about it. The Beloved was exhibiting signs of barely controlled warrior rage - he is extremely unhappy with the entire situation based simply on age. I was ready to kill the kid myself (he's got a full foot on me at 6'5", but I think I could take him) after watching our girl agonizing in silence, but then he called after getting home from work - he's spent the month of October volunteering at a Halloween haunted house/fundraiser for foster kids programs, and last night was the end of it. He really is a good kid. On the other hand, I - someone who you'd normally perceive as being a fairly well-adjusted, intelligent, and slightly amusing 40 year old woman - am a neurotic freak of a mother. This was just ONE DAY. The first of many to come. Lord, give me strength.

Okay. The Cheerleader Princess - a freshman - is being pursued by a Football Player senior. He is a nice kid, nerdy, not at all the "bad boy" type.

But he's a senior.

She's a freshman. A cute, smart, funny, but completely inexperienced, never-been-kissed, got her first-ever phone call from a boy today FRESHMAN.

I am not ready for this. Suggestions?

All Saints Day

Hope you all enjoy the Feast of All Saints today, and that you pick or are picked by a new Saint of the Year to read and meditate on.

It's also a great time to hit your local Catholic bookstore or Amazon.com and treat yourself to a nice Lives of the Saints tome or set.

I own these for the bedside table - Volume One was the key to my reversion from my hedonistic '80's days.

We were also given the four volume Butlers Lives of the Saints by our Little Flower's godfather. There are numerous versions for children, too. Whichever one(s) you choose, I believe it's a must-have for your home library for readers of all ages and stages.

EWTN has a great resource for all you aspiring hagiographers out there - here's a link to their Saints directory - you can look them up by letter or by calendar, and you get a nice bio and location of the saint's shrine, if applicable. Just think of it as All Saints, all the time!

Who are you pairing up with this year?