Sunday, March 15, 2009

HeloMom Dispatch #23 - A Psalm's Answer to a Sick and Crazy World

How appropriate that we should be at #23 for this one...

Well, so much for getting back to normal. After a week off from school, the Princess went back to school, overdid things, and has been experiencing additional abdominal pain. So we took Friday off and went back in to the hospital for outpatient testing to ensure all is sound and healing properly. No bad news from that yet, so we will assume all is well.

In the meantime, the Princess noted some tension and much smirking and snarking from her classmates when she returned (yes - the same little pack of snots who've been horrible to her since jr. high) and the Athlete noticed some strange behavior among his set as well. It all finally made sense on Thursday...one girl asked the Princess if she was going to be able to return to gym due to her "delicate condition" and another chimed in that no, she'd be recovered soon, and didn't she look like she'd actually lost weight due to her "procedure." Princess didn't put it all together until she was sitting alone on a crowded bus and pondering it all on her way home. A girl in hysterics burst through the door and related all of the details. Then she got sick.

Later that evening, the Athlete was asked about "the rumor" by his physician father, who'd been told outside of the school environment that something unkind was circulating about the Princess at school - more specifically, that she'd had something other than her appendix removed. Fortunately, he knows his son as well as I know my daughter (and really, you can't get pregnant by kissing each other goodnight with mom right there...), and no one who knows either of them well lends any credence to such nonsense. But try telling that to a 15 year old mortified Princess and a now-feral Athlete whose Princess' good name (and his by implication) has been besmirched by a group of vicious, nasty, jealous little [bad word]s for no purpose other than to hurt and damage two nice kids whose lives are centered around living out the kind of goodness and virtue that such maladjusted creatures cannot understand. He's very, very angry and ready to "throw down" if anyone dares speak it aloud.

So this weekend has revolved around soothing the wounded pair and coming up with strategies to get through it. It will all blow over, they will emerge unscathed, those who know them will laugh it off, and those detractors who persist will demonstrate their own foolishness to others. (I will spare you a recounting of the inner thought processes and utter rage that HeloMom has experienced these past few days...)

And yes, I had a chat with one of the school administrators on Friday . For all the good it did, which was not much. The Athlete was in the office raising hell and I was on speaker phone with a silently weeping Princess in the background trying to come up with a solution. There isn't one when you're dealing with teenaged girls. Pulling the rumormongerers from class (this was the school's suggestion) and engaging in the accusation/denial ritual will not cure the problem or make life easier for Princess. In fact, it is like throwing gas on a fire and things will escalate. Plus it's a matter of giving legs to the rumor and making it more talked-about, more widely. I think the Athlete and Princess need to deal with it under the radar by starting a counterintellgence campaign among their peers and that will be more effective than anything the adults can do at the school level. Fortunately, the little pack of 9th grade girls who seem to have started it are not well-liked by anyone...save themselves. It will die down, and they will been seen for what they are.

The one thing that struck me most about the administrator's reaction to it all was the utter lack of understanding that it is NOT simply a matter of gossip and slander - she's put up with that crap from this group for awhile now. But to a minority-opinion-having, ardently prolife girl, this is the lowest and most disgusting sort of rumor imagineable. I had to explain more than once that it assaulted her character, sure, but worse, it violated her core beliefs and her dignity. And given the flak she's taken for voicing her feelings about abortion, about the presidential campaign (remember the inauguration letter flap?), and even the teasing about her purity ring, who can blame her for never wanting to set foot in the place again? We're past that now, and she's ready to return and fight back tomorrow.

But what a thing for anyone's child to go through. As I told the young couple, the devil never seems to relent, especially when you do your best to live out your goodness and principles for others to see. Don't give in to the anger and despair, and hold your heads high.

St. Michael, pray for us. (And yeah, I'm thinking it's high time for some Old Testament smiting on the evildoers. Is that so wrong?)

Helo Mom is not a fan of the meds, but a little Xanax might have been nice these past few days. But in the absence of that, there's this:

PSALM 23 v 22
The Good Shepherd
Psalm Of David

1 Yahweh is my shepherd,
I lack nothing.

2 In meadows of green grass he lets me lie.
To the waters of repose he leads me;

3 there he revives my soul.
He guides me by paths of virtue
for the sake of his name.

4 Though I pass through a gloomy valley,
I fear no harm;
beside me your rod and your staff
are there, to hearten me.

5 You prepare a table before me
under the eyes of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil,
my cup brims over.

6 Ah, how goodness and kindness pursue me,
every day of my life;
my home, the house of Yahweh,
as long as I live!

(From my Jerusalem Bible, 1966 ed. )

12 comments:

Packrat said...

Hang in there. You all are in my prayers. I have a very good idea what you are going through. Yes, now Princess and Athlete need to act like nothing happened and ignore those ugly comments.

Two old sayings come to mind: "What goes around comes around" and "Whatever you do comes back to you twice". I firmly believe these sayings and that it works for good and bad. So, the ones doing the snarking will get "theirs". Also, it is not wrong to wish someone to be punished for a wrong doing.

Kasia said...

...as I am apparently incapable of leaving a comment right now that does not at least thoroughly revel in the idea of violence being done to this pack of nitwits...

...I will simply say that I will redouble prayers for you and yours...

...and I will try to come back later with something more constructive...

Do these [expletives] not have parents?!?! Are they as nasty and vicious as their progeny?!?!?!??!

Grrr...

gretchen said...

Kit,

Does FedEx deliver locusts and frogs? (Do you have addresses of these little gossip-mongers?)

You and the Princess and the Athlete will be in our prayers. I'll put you in our family rosary tomorrow night. My oldest two daughters (15 and 13) will be extra motivated to pray.

Kit said...

My Dearest Clam...yes, the parents are as awful as their spawn - and older so they've had more practice. Small town, small minds, closed to outsiders like us.

Example - I had a blast the day I subbed last September BUT...(I was too angry to post about it then) one of the pack - actually the worst of the bullies who has harassed my daughter for 18 months now - went home and claimed that I "harassed" her in French class and she was afraid of me.

When I arrived home that afternoon, the mother (whom I've never met) left a message threatening to contact the police if I ever went near her daughter again. The precious child in question is a head taller than me and weighs about 200 lbs (yes, this is the one who calls the 119-lb Princess "fat" and "ugly" all the time). She was disrespectful, rude, rolled her eyes each time I spoke, and otherwise openly hostile from the moment she entered the room, but apparently that part of the story didn't make it home.

In fact, I deliberately avoided singling out or calling on any of the nasty girls in the class, and simply went around the room, row by row asking each kid to pronounce things and answer questions. When I got to her, she refused to repeat phrases to me as I asked or to answer my questions.

Yeah, that's me harassing and scaring a kid. The girl's mother (an alumna of the school) went to the school and complained to the same nun who was her principal 25+ years ago.

I gave my side of it the next day after I heard all of the bs, but stood no chance, because I'm not "from here." The saddest thing is, (aside from the lies and true sickness that is involved with the real life "Children's Hour" I experienced), kids in that and each of the other language classes I taught that one day have routinely come up to me ever since at football and basketball games to ask when I'll be back, because they had so much fun and learned so much from me the day I was there. The Princess is asked all the time when I'm coming back, too. However, because of one spoiled, issue-laden monster and her blind, enabling parent, I've not been asked back since to sub for any class, even those without 9th graders...to avoid making anyone feel "uncomfortable."

I was angry and offended at this presumption of guilt until several other "non-insider" parents explained that the cliques of parent-alums are actually worse than the kids in many cases, and not to bother trying to fight it.

In the grand scheme of things, it is their loss, not mine. Honestly, I'm a pretty decent lawyer and a student-selected "Favorite Professor" award winner at the college each year, so I guess I'm just too cool for this worn down, dwindling-enrollment-having, morally vacant quasi-Catholic high school.

C'est la vie, c'est la guerre...

Mrs.Pogle said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about this. Praying for you all xx

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

Everyone's in my prayers...

I have a solution to the problem....The one thing I do remember is how fast word spreads of something in HS...

I'll have to send an e-mail on this one, lol...

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Kit,

This makes my blood boil! Please can I come out there and just shoot someone?

Okay, okay, violence never solved anything . . .

gemoftheocean said...

Golly, Joe, I'd have loved to have known whatever secret you've got for vanquishing 9th grade bitches. I had similar problems at that age, fortunately, I only shared ONE class with them, and we moved the year after.

gemoftheocean said...

Digi, violence got rid of Rasputin!

mum6kids said...

Good grief! How vile those kids are!
It just seems to be so common that a group of kids get together and behave like that with impunity. There are no adults, parents or teachers, able or willing to take them on.

Praying.
Prayer of St Michael again I think.
God bless

Dymphna said...

Ugh. I went to an all girl school and I remember well how vicious teenaged girls can be.

Philangelus said...

Much much later, not now, but a long time from now, your daughter will draw on this experience and understand exactly what *actual* postabortive women feel. She'll have gone through the ostracism and the helplessness without having committed the act.

And that's going to serve her well. God will use these girls' evil to shape her heart and soul into the marvelous Creation that He wants her to become.

That doesn't mean it's not painful and isn't going to continue to be painful. Right now, she's carrying Christ's cross, and as a mother that's got to be so hard for you to watch.

I'm sorry you and she are dealing with these horrid girls. May they repent and be transformed from their selfishness and nastiness.