Practicing, Part II

As promised...the rest of the story from one of my November posts.

I saved this for January because, well, I started this blog during the holidays, AND because of this month's focus on Life issues.

So there I was, in my dissolute early 20's, totally adrift and living the life of the late 80's/early 90's. Hair and shoulderpads were big, I was thinner and lovelier...and miserable. I was in serially monogamous 1-2 year dating relationships looking for something that the young men I associated with simply could not provide. I had finished college a year early, was all set to go to law school, but (thankfully) had a 21 year old's rare moment of clarity - I was not ready. SO I worked for a year and started grad school instead. Still trying to find love, acceptance, and ... something (permanent, meaningful, etc.) that I had always lacked in my post-nuclear family.

Then I was set up on a blind date with - ack - an enlisted Marine recruiter. As a spoiled ex-sorority chick and daughter of a former Naval officer/dentist, this was unthinkable, but I was between boyfriends and up for anything new and interesting. We went to a surprisingly highbrow, happenin' place. He did not speak much. He knew our cocktail waitress (gorgeous blonde bombshell - his ex-girlfriend's roomate as it turned out), and chatted more with her than with me. When he went to drop me off at my apartment, he pulled up to the curb and did not even offer to open the car door, much less walk me to my apartment door. I was disgusted. I waited for at least 2 minutes (long time when an uncomfortable silence is in progress). The car idled. He did not move, he did not speak. I finally gave up, shook my head and hopped out. Just as I went to slam the door on a strange, wasted night, he caught it and asked me if I'd go out with him again (WHAT?!?) As the "Nnnnn" of "NO!" started to form on my lips, something came over me and for reasons still unknown, "Yeah, sure" came out instead. (HT to the Holy Spirit?!?). I told my mother the next day that I'd been on the worst date ever, with this older Marine guy, and she laughed when I told her that I'd spoken in tongues and said "yes" instead of "no" to another date. But I also told her, not completely joking, that there was something really strange about this guy, and either he was a serial killer, or I'd end up marrying him. We both cracked up, and she told me to cancel...but I said no. I was a poor working student, always up for free food, and I figured I'd order lobster or something obnoxious to compensate me for what would be another lost weekend evening.

For the next 4 weeks, we saw each other once or twice a week, and through it all, this odd, silent man refused to do more than walk me to the stairs to my apartment, and had never made any sort of "move" on me - not even a hand-hold attempt. So I gave up on him, because I figured either he was some combination of snotty/crazy/stupid/a killer or, somehow, I was not appealing to him, but looked damn good at his side on dates. My sense of self worth was tied to being groped (or not), I suppose you could say, in the shallow, vain (and fabulous) days of my youth. :) I told the friend who'd set us up that I was not going to see him anymore. Within 5 minutes, he was on the phone, assuring me that he DID like me, he was quiet by nature, and that he had never tried to touch me or walk me to my door because he did not want me to be offended or think that he wanted to be asked inside. (What?!? Chivalry is NOT dead?) I was astonished. 3 weeks later (after some all-night phone chats and - finally - some rather chaste smooching) I was presented with a gorgeous engagement ring. Whoa. NOT ready for that, at all, and the "Nnnn" thing happened again...but it came out "Nnnn...okay!" Again, some larger force was at work and literally changing what came out of my mouth.

10 months later, we were married, a lovely Nuptial Mass, full military uniforms, gorgeous. We were both cradle Catholics (he had a much more conventional and devout upbringing than I did), but looking back, even though we did all our pre-Cana stuff and had our paperwork in order to obtain the Sacrament of Marriage, neither of us knew the true Sacramental nature of what we were doing. To make matters worse, my husband's brother was married to a serious zealot, who (though younger, raised in a highly insular homeschooling family, and not nearly as educated or worldly as moi) presumed to lecture me on the eve of my wedding about Catholicism, assured me that, being from a "broken family" I was never going to be accepted by her or my husband's family, had no idea what a real wife's duties were (I intended to keep working and then go to law school the following year), and for all this and many other sins, would go to Hell because I was not a "real" Catholic. After the wedding she cornered me and demanded to know why not everyone in the church knelt during the consecration. "Not everyone in the church is Catholic" (Uh oh. Not a good enough answer. I wondered to myself if that was some sort of faux pas, should we have planned better, given out instructions in the Wedding Mass program?)

But anger overtook that moment of self-doubt. Another Catholic - one who wore her "orthodoxy" on her sleeve and prides herself on being the model Catholic wife and mother, was telling me I was not good enough to be a Catholic, a wife, a member of the family, etc. (15 years later, we still cannot abide one another - I really did try for the first 10, but her hard heart and my hard head have prevailed.) However, I credit her with blowing some of that hot air to spark and fan the flames of my Faith - I was going to start reading up and fighting back. Surely, "good" Catholics were not supposed to be so hateful and judgmental. I had to start gathering an arsenal to fight back - quotes from Scripture (nothing like calling me out on the speck in my eye when she had a log in her own...), the Catechism, whatever it took. I was going to refute every rotten, insulting thing she said to me using her own material to do it. (Future lawyer in me, I guess.)

Part III to follow...

OK, I can't help it...

Nice baby at Christmas...

[pic deleted at family's request - sorry!]

"Survivor 73"

This is the shirt my 13 year old wears to her quasi-Catholic school on "free dress" days - we bought it at the EWTN gift shop 18 months ago...(story for a later time). This is what it says:

Since 1973 1/3 of my generation

has been slaughtered

by abortion at the date of

4000 babies per day.

My friends....My classmates....My generation

compromised by the selfishness of others.

As a survivor I will not let

future generations be murdered

in the name of convenience.

I will not be silent.

I will not forget

I will not compromise.

She gets unfavorable looks from some of the leftist teachers and crap from some of her classmates, but she stands firm, and she answers questions and critics. I hope and pray she remains resolute and active in the fight.

Anyway. It's available on the EWTN website catalogue under "specialty items" and "apparel" (I have yet to figure out how to link stuff - sorry)

Home again, home again

Jiggity-jog...


I have to say it (because I am totally unbiased, of course...) I have a spectacular baby. Scream-free flyer, smiled at all the relatives (except one I cannot stand - cried when she tried to come near him...extra points!), snuggled with many, but especially with his 18 year old cousin/my nephew-godson, who let him chew on his x-box remote and canceled plans with friends because, as he said, "I got a better offer."

On the road again

Tomorrow I will be the person everyone hates...on a plane, with the plague, and the coup de grace...a BABY! Off to the homeland (Chicago) for a family event, just me and the wee one, as he is a free lap-rat passenger. As previously mentioned, I now dread flying (which I used to love, pre-children) but strangely, this trip doesn't seem to be freaking me out yet. Probably because the older ones will remember me if I go down in flames, and the little one will be with me. Kinda sick logic, but so far, so good. A little DayQuil, a few airplane-size bottles of hooch and some baby Benadryl in a dropper and I will be golden...

Say a prayer and wish me luck!

St. Maria Goretti - Patron of Teens and Purity

It's a cold, crummy day here...perfect movie day! My eldest was confirmed in November, and she took "Maria" as her Confirmation name in honor of her favorite Saint.* I bought a biopic (Italian, with English dubbed in) on Maria from Ignatius Press as one of her gifts, but it did not make it in time, so I saved it for Christmas. We finally cracked it out this morning and watched it.

While not really historically accurate in terms of Maria's passion, the film was nicely done, shot on or near the actual location, and compelling enough for Little Miss 13-going-on 35 to watch -- and weep -- with great interest. After we watched it, she told me about all the missing info, the miracles, and the fact that her murderer and her mother sat side by side at her canonization in 1950. (I forgot she did a research paper in her regular school religion class at the same time we were going through the Confirmation process.)

I have often thought that St. Maria Goretti merits her own devotional scapular, as she was stabbed while protecting her virginity and actually died looking at a painting of the Blessed Mother on her hospital room wall...

OK, I won't give any more away if you have never heard of or read the life of this brave young Saint. 0:-)

*See combox for uncharitable Confirmation info

Jane alert!

Starting January 13th, PBS' Masterpiece Theatre will begin showing adaptations of each of her major novels, plus a biography special...always good girl-night fodder at our house.

I have been a Jane Austen fan since reading Sense & Sensibility the summer after 7th grade, way before it was "cool" (i.e., a good 15 years before Colin Firth came out of that pond in his wet shirt...). Not a rabid JASNA member, Jane-ite or vitriolic scholar type, just an ardent admirer. I have read everything there is -- Juvenilia, letters, biographies, etc., and of course have watched the numerous adaptations of each novel. Her work was/is to me what JK Rowling's is to this generation, I suppose. I keep a copy of Pride & Prejudice in my nightstand, as my 35 year old Steiff teddy bear is a bit more fragile (she's on top of the armoire keeping an eye on me from afar, however). Call it my literary blankie.

January and Respect for Life

As mentioned below, I watched Into Great Silence this weekend and I was fascinated.

[SPOILER ALERT -- for those who don't want to know anything about it, stop here...]

Amazingly, so were the beloved husband and girls. It was so compelling that, as we watched, whenever the kids had questions, or we'd "ooh" and "ahh" at the incredible mountain landscape around the monastery, or try to guess what was coming next, we whispered all these things to each other like we were intruding on their privacy in a reverent-yet-voyeuristic way. Aside from generally marveling at the life these men lead, feeling exhilarated when they snowboarded, fell, and laughed out loud, I was moved to tears watching a younger monk tend to an elderly one, and again when this elderly, blind monk spoke about his faith and mortality. Well worth the rental or the buy.

I spent another two hours looking at the rest of the special features (including the extended version of the blind monk interview), the history (rise and post-Reformation and especially the post-French Revolution fall) of so many of the chapter houses. But at the very end, looking at notes sent back and forth between the filmmaker and the monks was this little gem that I think is a lovely way to start contemplating January's message, that we have to shout from the rooftops all year long:

I was still within
my mother's breast
when the Lord's call came

In her womb*
I was still at rest
When he called my name

(* the original French word used was actually "entrailles" so I freely admit that translate loosely here..."entrails" "innards" or "intestines" did not quite work for me...)

Anyway, January's a Catholic's gut check month that starts off every new year after we've just celebrated the Incarnation of the Lord (aka, Christmas). Are you comfortable with your apologetics when faced with questions or debate with a pro-life friend or co-worker? Take time now, in this month where we are especially called to Respect Life, to read up and arm yourself with brave and true words to wear as your mantle through the coming year -- and the election! Don't sit back and nod, smile, and "go with the flow" when these issues come up -- speak your piece! Despite the term "apologetics," (which is not synonymous) make no apology, make it clear where you stand, and always try to do this in a way that invites dialogue (not diatribe), and fosters understanding (not anger, invective, or judgment on the souls of the obstinate). Stand up for the little souls...and tell your local Barack Obama supporters that the unborn should be allowed the audacity of hope as well.

Battle on, mes amis!

For Jerusalem et St. Denis!

Because I love Jesus...

...and because Fr. R. over at Orthometer gets due deference....my response to the "no-name meme" is as follows:

1. Do you wear a name tag at work? No! In order to ensure this would never be the case, I pay monthly law school loan installments that exceed most peoples' mortgage payments

2. What kind of car do you drive? A distinguished (ok OLD!) BMW 740 and/or Volvo XC wagon

3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? One bean burrito, sans onion, sour cream added and one of those fried caramel apple pandita (?) things

4. Have you ever had a garage sale? Yes, it was expected in military housing

5. What color is your iPod? U2 special edition, baby! (Red & black)

6. What kind of dog do you have? Golden Retard and Yellow Labradork (well meaning, gentle and sweet but stoo-pid..."no, WE did not get into the garbage that's all over the kitchen...it was the baby....yeah, that's the ticket....oh crap! He can't walk yet?!?")

7. What's for dinner tonight? Ask my husband...he has it "all planned out" (YAY!)

8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? Chianti -- Ruffino, I think?

9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? Got into a text war with some stupid skanky teenaged girl who was sure I was her boyfriend, then her boyfriend's new girlfriend, and then I had my Assistant DA friend end it all....awesome....

10. Last time you were sick? Oy. The September "back to school cold" that the kids always get. I know it is only a matter of time before the January version hits.

11. How long is your hair? Collarbone-ish

12. Are you happy right now? Sure. Ask me again later -- I will get my weathervane out.

13. What did you say last? "Oooh! Do you see the kitty cat? The bad, bad kitty cat cat cat?" (Hey -- I have an infant!!!)

14. Who came over last? Aside from the mailman? I think my husband's cousins right after Christmas. (Pathetic, I know...)

15. Do you drink beer? Yes, the darker the better out of respect to my German & Irish forebears.

16. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? I honestly can't recall...but I was always told that I look so much like my dad, it would never have worked. (FYI, Dad was VERY PRETTY)

17. What is your favorite key chain on your keys? Little leather sandal that says "Assissi" from our trip there a few years ago.

18. What did you get for graduation? HS: matched luggage (a.k.a., get the he** out!); college: mom's used Nissan Sentra; law school: bought myself a Coach briefcase -- also got some flowers from my lawyer uncle.

19. Whats in your pocket? Yoga pants have no pockets

20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook? SNL. Not a fan.

21. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. But I have spent stupid sums of money on a few "$12" bears that somehow required $80 worth of accessories. Each. That place is tied for "#1 Most Evil Parent Trap "with Chuck-E-Cheese...

22. What DVD is in your DVD player? Into Great Silence, which I finally watched last night (or maybe Bear in the Big Blue House by now)

23. What's something fun you did today? Stayed home with the baby instead of doing an arbitration brief. Priorities.

24. Who is/was the principal of your high school? Tom Howard.

25. Has your house ever been TP'd? Here, no. Growing up, yes (sports event related)

26.What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? "Bad, bad kitty cat cat cat"

27. What are you listening to right now? The Baroque classical channel on XM Radio

28. Drinking? Nothing. Yet.

29. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? Heebie-jeebies aside...I only go there for baby formula in emergencies (you'd have to see our rural upstate WalMart clientele to fully appreciate that it is not merely snobbery, but public health and safety issues that send me to Target)

30. When is your mom's birthday? December 24

31. When is your birthday? March 23 (Easter!)

32. What's the area code for your cell phone? 619 (old habits die hard...)

33. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? Margaritaville (online)

34. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? College faculty parking permit

35. How many states in the US have you been to? All but 7 (I've been to Alaska and Hawaii, but not places like the Dakotas, for example)

36. What kind of milk do you drink? 1%

37. What are you going to do after this? Find out what the beloved is making for dinner - now I am hungry after doing this

38. Who was the last person you went shopping with? My 13 year old

39. What is your favorite fruit? You can't beat the versatility of the banana (again with the hungry...)

40. What about your favorite dessert? Oooh. Tough one. Up until recently, there'd have to be chocolate involved, but at the moment, I'd have to say warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream

41. What is something you need to go shopping for? A new vehicle. Not sure what yet.

42. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? Middle name is for mom, first name is all my own.

43. What kind of car does one of your siblings drive? Distinguished (OLD!) BMW 5-series.

44. Do you like pickles? Yes, but not the sweet ones.

45. How about olives? As long as they are not out of a can.

46. What is your favorite kind of gum? Orbit sweet mint (only occasionally, and NEVER in church!)

47. What is your favorite kind of juice? Freshly squeezed orange. Preferably mixed with moderately priced champagne.

48. Do you have any tan lines? Ummmm....hello. January. Upstate NY. (Maybe if I ski this season, I will have them from my sunglasses?)

49. What hospital were you born in? Dude, I was born at Woodstock! (OK...the one in Illinois...1968)

Epiphany

Another one of those awesome days of Christmas...and I am spending it working on the seasons greeting card/letter that I never got around to completing from Thanksgiving (I bought Thanksgiving cards, even!) on through Advent, Christmas, and the New Year. (*blush*). Lucky recipients of the snail mail version of this missive and pictorial will also receive the OTHER greeting I did not send out....the birth announcements for the 8 month old baby. (*eyes smashed shut with shame*). I figure this will be my last best symbolic way of presenting the boy and catching people up on what's been going on with us all in one festive shot. Bonus: holiday stationery will undoubtedly be on sale...

I used to be really good about these things, honestly, when the kids were younger (which seems odd, because the older two are far more self-sufficient now -- you'd think I'd have more time to sit down and get stuff out). Cards were always done and out the first week of December, cute kid pics enclosed, etc. Last year, I gave myself a bye -- I was high-risky-pregnant, working 3 jobs (teaching, law office, and freelancing for the journal), the dh was working overseas until 2 weeks before I had the boy, so I felt entitled to skip it and put my feet up. This year -- just the law job, took the semester off, and stopped writing until further notice. No excuses other than my own inertia. Ahhh well.

It has been a great year, lots to be thankful for (hence the Thanksgiving cards that are still sitting in my library), and those who know and care will understand. Maybe if we get REALLY lucky, we'll have a reason to send out the Thanksgiving cards next year? :)

Happy New Year!

I have been dissolute, but it is time to be resolute! I rarely make New Year's resolutions, much less stick to them (snort!), but THIS IS THE YEAR! The big 4-0 is coming. Soon! In fact, my 40th is on Easter (!) this year. Kinda gives "life begins at 40" a whole new meaning, non? The family has been made aware that I am going to be in training, shucking the rest of my extra "husk" (I can't even blame the baby -- I gained 25 and lost 27), and being more respectful of my body as I reach halftime. They are rolling their eyes, but I am going to show them!

Much of this has to do with not wanting to be an old, decrepit mom to a nice, new baby as he gets older. Shortly after our little friend arrived, Mom came to visit. We sat in the living room chatting, and in one of the rare pauses, we were both looking over at the little sleeping bundle in the bouncy chair, and she said aloud what I was thinking: "I still can't BELIEVE there's a baby on your floor!" Then, "I wonder what he's going to look like in 5 years..." and as I pondered that, smiling and imagining, I looked over at my 13 year old and was horrorstruck...he'll be starting kindergarten and she'll be starting college in 5 years!!! Oy! I don't want to be like my grandma, who had her youngest at 38, and was asked on the first day of school if she was her son's grandma! She always said she wasn't sure if the nun saw her flipping her off (bad Grandma!) but she'd find out when she got to Hell for other stuff. :) I don't know that I'd have the self mastery to use only sign language. Best not to find out.

One silver lining is this -- for the first time in my life, I will be able to eat chocolate without Lenten guilt on my birthday. (My self-conferred birthday dispensation aside...)

OK -- off to watch my beloved Illini get slaughtered in the Rose Bowl! Enjoy!

Awesome Days of Christmas

I have been a model of sloth and gluttony this past week. (See previous post). I did manage to get off the couch and get some work done, which, sadly, has diverted me from my post-Christmas ritual of either going to daily Mass through Epiphany, or at least ensuring that I sit down and take time to properly consider the readings for each day. So I went back today and reviewed the readings and even cracked out my Butler's for good measure.

A quick review...12/26: St. Stephen, the first Martyr. 12/27: St John the Evangelist (excellent post on this feast at The Digital Hairshirt, btw). 12/28: the Holy Innocents...this one is always tough for me as I pray for my 8 little as-yet unmet little innocents who were not able to complete the journey with me. Which is nothing compared to all of the innocent souls who, by someone else's "choice," never even had a chance. So I pretty much just sit there in the back of the church with the waterworks in full force despite my best efforts to be invisible. Always a tough day, and aside from my inner strife, I'm sure I must look like a wacko by the time my red puffy face makes it up to receive the Eucharist...but I digress.

Anyway.

12/29: Thomas a Becket (I do love my lawyer saints and their funky-campy 60's biopics...) 12/30: The Holy Family. How amazing is each member of the Holy Family, I ask you to consider?!? I have a great poster of the Holy Family's flight to Egypt that I bought at the Vatican museum...and have yet to frame. 12/31: Sts. Sylvester, Melania, Columba -- early saints, each of whom displays a unique vocation and reminds us of the virtues of the brave early Christians...pope/survivor of Diocletian and witness of the ascendancy of Constantine, foundress/abess, virgin and martyr, respectively. And that's just December!

Remiss though I have been in keeping up my annual tradition this year, I do love these days, which are a little slower, kids are home, leftovers about done, and there's some time to reflect on these days and their import. Just sitting here clacking all this out has been cathartic -- as I type I keep thinking how much I love our Church, our history, and the countless examples of love, bravery, virtue, purity, and faith we can look to in even a cursory review of hagiology. I love our Faith!!!

Jabba the Hutt (a.k.a....Mamma the Gutt)

Yeah. That's pretty much what the scene on my couch has been since 8:00 on the morning of the 25th. Carnage (a.k.a., unwrapping gifts). Cookies. Cocoa. Rum balls. Phone calls. Ham. More cookies. Tea. Oblivion.

12/26: Baked oatmeal. Coffee. Cookies. Ham sammiches. Real (not diet) Coke. Rum balls. Movies. Tea. Laptop.

I. Am. A. Big. Fat. Slug.

Lord have mercy on my gluttonous soul and the glutenous mess I've made of Your temple these past few days...but thanks for a blessed Christmas and the most important gift of all (scroll down for that one!), whose first three fangs arrived with little fuss or ceremony this week!

Joyeux Noel!

Have a wondrous, blessed Christmas!

Rejoicing...

Whew! Made it home from my legal conference in sunny San Diego in one piece between waves of sleet, ice, and blizzard at DTW and here in NY -- threaded the eye of the weather needle, so to speak. My poor guardian angel's proverbial wings must still be thawing...I invoke him/her about every 5 minutes (or more with every tiny bit of turbulence) to use them to keep us aloft while in flight.

Never used to bother me to fly, but after I had kids...and especially leaving the little critter behind for almost a week, I am now a confirmed flight phobe. Thanks again to my angel and the litany of saints who I silently beseeched going and especially coming home on this "Rejoice" Sunday!

We're in the home stretch....much wrapping, baking, and maybe even cards to do this coming week. (Still gotta get to confession, too!) Hope everyone out there is doing well and enjoying!

The Gift

Thank you Sts. Catherine, Gerard, Gianna, Jude, and our Blessed Mother for answering our prayers this year with the greatest gift of all!

Fellow Travelers - prayers requested

I wanted to hold off on this until after the holidays, but darn it, between my personal pals and blog acquaintances these past few weeks, there are some tiny, pure souls up in Heaven and some grieving mothers here on Earth who need prayers on this Feast of the Immaculate Conception: my sister in law, who recently miscarried, my dear friends Jude (godfather of my "law school baby") & his wife Emily, whose 18 week old died in utero this past week, John Mary Thomas (Dymphna's baby), and the many, many Catholic moms struggling, as I did for so long, with multiple miscarriages and subsequent trouble conceiving.
May our Blessed Mother wrap you in her mantle and the Divine Infant welcome His newest little playmates.
I pray He will send you joy in the upcoming year! Crazy schedule aside, I will be doing a Holy Hour for you all this weekend, plus one of gratitude for my own little family having been blessed with a long-awaited baby this year.

New Christmas thing

I am really digging XM Radio's Traditional Holiday and World Holiday stations -- lots of chant, old-world and medieval arrangements. If you have it in your car or on AOL for free, it is worth it -- I have been listening to it at work and at home via my laptop while i putter around doing other stuff. Tonight is a big decorating and cookie making night after 4:30 Mass...next weekend (pink candle!) is tree time after I get back from my legal conference in San Diego. (Please pray for my safe trip...some I know are so jealous that I'm traveling without the kids, but not me...ever since I had my first, I dread flying and the possibility of leaving them motherless if something goes wrong!)

Christmas FAQ's (my first meme!)

Slowly getting into the ins and outs of the blogging thing, and lo and behold...it's all about MEme:
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both - AND...my mother's cloth gift bags (she gets Christmas fabric on sale after the big day and makes bags to use/recycle every year. Handy for odd shapes and sizes, and there's kitsch factor involved when you get one of 'em

2. Real tree or artificial? Real -- love the smell, hate the mess, enjoy the drive and slog up into the hills to pick it out and cut it down, too.

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually the second Sunday unless the weather prevents the cutting.

4. When do you take the tree down? After Epiphany.

5. Do you like eggnog? Oh yeah...the real stuff with bourbon or brandy! (Not the "egg-nausea" thick crap from the store)

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Two stand out -- my grandma (she died at 90 in March, God rest her soul) used to buy me a Christmas ornament every year. I have them going back to 1980. Second, a little camel hair coat with a rabbit fur collar when I was about 9 (I learned much later that this was my struggling single mom's revenge for my dad buying his wife and stepdaughter full length mink and rabbit fur coats...but not paying his child support)

7. Do you have a Nativity scene? I have 5! Waterford, large ceramic (from Sam's Club - very pretty!), Spanish terra-cotta, wooden blocks for the kids, and a little Mexican painted terra-cotta set, muy folklorico.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Mom. Her birthday is Christmas Eve, she is picky, we must differentiate between the birthday and Christmas, so the pressure is intense.

9. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Identical things (sweaters, Barbies, etc.) to the evil stepsister. Especially when we got the same Barbie, but she got all the accessories, house, car, airplane, etc. I just got the Barbie and was not allowed to touch the other stuff during subsequent custodial visits.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Both...but let's face it, I haven't even sent out birth announcements yet!

11. Favorite Christmas Movie? "A Christmas Story" (I actually saw it in the theater!), and "It's a Wonderful Life"

12. When do you start shopping for Christmas? A bit here and there after Halloween

13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Does returning a winter coat I received from the evil stepmother to help pay my electric bill count?

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Everything. OK, if I have to pick one seasonal thing, it's those Bahlsen dark-chocolate covered gingerbread cookies. Wow!

15. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I like clear, the family likes colored, so I lose.

16. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night ("Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices!" = good stuff)

17. Stay at home or travel on Christmas? Home. Back in our military days, we used to haul ourselves across the country with cheap flights on Christmas Day to visit inlaws and show off the grandkids, but no more. I love my house, it was built for entertaining (by wealthier people than we will ever be back in the 1920's...servant's rooms and all), and contrary to public policy and child labor laws in many states, I have conscripts (ages 13 and 10, upon whom I have graciously bestowed my DNA) who become servants and sleep up on the third floor when the house is full. Living the dream....

18. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Yes, if pressed

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star was a casualty in our new dog vs. cat tree-toppling atrocity 4 years ago, so currently we have a fiber-optic winged angel who has stopped lighting up. Annoying.

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Back to the Mom thing. We had to watch her open her birthday presents on the 24th, but wait until the 25th to open ours. So now that I am free of maternal tyranny, I have instituted a more benevolent dictatorial custom of my own -- we give gifts to each other the night before, and wait until morning for "Santa" presents and stockings.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Malls. And about 90% of the secular-maniac people I know talking about all horribly expensive crap they are getting for their kids -- PDA's, cell phones, Wii's, iPods to replace the "outdated" one they got last year...ridiculous. (When I was 13 I was happy to get crazy stuff like a few sweaters, some perfume and maybe a new U2 album...)

SNOW!

Yes, it is official -- we have about 4 inches here in Upstate (probably more further north), and more on the way.

I woke up and looked out across the street at the big Antebellum mansion across the street, white bricks and green shutters, its hedges and ancient oak and maple trees laced with snow, and thought "how beautiful!" And then I thought "Thank God I don't have that sidewalk and driveway!" (I live in a stately, but much smaller abode...from which the view is fabulous.) Also congratulating self on procrastinating on raking up the last of the leaves....now hidden under a pristine mantle of white. Excellent mulch by spring. :)

Let the scraping, shoveling, slipping and sliding into stuff begin. Great for the law business with all the personal injuries of the season (much as the rainy season in San Diego used to be - curse the traffic, love the bad drivers!), but by March, I will be fed up and wondering what the h[eck] we were thinking moving back here. Oh well. For now I am sticking with "beautiful."

As I sit here, I see Man and Cub frolicking about in the yard with the hounds, and from this vantage point it is hard to tell who is having more fun. My poor baby is nothing but a ball of fleece with two very pink cheeks, so I think he's just enjoying the ride but wondering why the Big Guy keeps making him touch the cold stuff. My 10 year old is attempting to be a musher...can't figure out why the "sled dogs" -- imagine, the intellectual one-two punch of Golden Retard and Labradork -- are having a harder time pulling this year.

I will have to explain this over hot chocolate, which I have yet to make. So off I go.

Happy Winter everyone!